Last night at work Gunny started Joey and I on a lengthy discussion of the boundaries and basis of reality and magic by asking me about the Schrodinger's Cat thought puzzle from Quantum Physics.
It was a Bill O'Reilly style debate, with me playing the part of Bill (naturally) and Joey playing the part of anyone else on Bill's show. Basically it involved alot of Joey would start talking and then I would talk loudly and forcibly over him until he stopped, at which point I had achieved a victory, or point for my side and I could then sit back smugly.
Gunny ended up going off to do more work while we argued, and then came back in after awhile and I think was a bit lost at the tangent that we had moved down.
I'd like to think that I was able to explain my reasoning and the methodology by which it was reached, but I seriously doubt it as I tend to be unintelligible most of the time.
I would go into some of the debate, but I'll have to leave it for later as the exertion of the effort of putting my thoughts into words last night has left me a bit short-winded and tired.
Saturday, January 31, 2004
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Like Twisted Toyfare Theatre, Only With No Theatre and No Toyfare
OnlineOnslaught, has a quite good re-imagining of the WWE Royal Rumble using Twisted Toyfare Theatre style photography. It starts out pretty innocently and realistically enough, but then descends into sublime oddity.
There's quite a few pictures, so bear with it, unless you're one of those people who doesn't like wrestling, or humor, or anything like that.
Games
I found these by way of Boing Boing.
From Neave.com come flash games of Space Invaders, Pac-Man and Tetris. Enjoy.
From Neave.com come flash games of Space Invaders, Pac-Man and Tetris. Enjoy.
Space Ghost Set To Start Busting Heads
According to Newsarama, Space Ghost is set for a pulp style re-vamp from creators Joe Kelly and Ariel Olivetti [with Alex Ross on covers].
This first image looks pretty good, and Kelly does well on the epic space stories [just see his work on Wildstorm's Mr. Majestic, or Superman]. This could be a really good thing.
I'd like to see their take on Brak. It's about time somebody showed how bad he really was before all of that radiation made him so stupid.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
More Wrestling Bad Bumps
Click on the animated gif of HHH giving an ugly pedigree that's actually more of a reverse piledriver to Marty Garner (later one of the Dupps) to go through to Wrestling's Most Brutal Bumps. It's not where I got the Sid video, but it is where I got the Giant Jackknife one.
People with medical conditions and small children should beware and take appropriate precautions.
More Than Meets the Eye
I realize that this probably isn't anything new for most out there, but here's a clip for Transformers fans of a Volkswagon transforming into an Autobot. I thought it was pretty cool.
Courtney Love
I don't know what to say about this picture. I realize that they probably went for the worst picture that they could, but still? She looks like the crazy old woman who threw cats on the Simpsons, or possibly Edgar Winter on a bender. She looks like some of the worst of the bad mug shots on The Smoking Gun.
Sweet Jeebus. I know that she's had it rough, but this picture makes her look like she's about 50. It reminds me of some sweet James Kochalka Superstar lyrics from the song Put Down the Gun from the brilliant album Monkey vs. Robot
Put down the gun Kurt Cobain
Don't blow out your brains
I know the world went insane
When it made you a star
Courtney stop your cryin
Shut your f*ckin' hole
Courtney is a liar
And she has no soul
She looks like she needs some help, and I don't think that anybody but her doubts that.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Useless Game
By way of In4mador here's a game loosely associated with the BBC show The Office: Bored Meeting. See how many of the wadded up balls of paper that you can get into the trashcan across the room. My best is 16, but some person with more than a little bit of time on their hands got over 3500.
Worst 100
Tommy did a post awhile back where he listed the IMDB's top 100 films and boldfaced the ones he's seen. Not to be outdone, I present IMDB's Bottom 100 Films with the ones I've seen in boldface
That's 54 of 100. There are a number of films there that I don't think deserve being rated as badly as they are, such as Nothing But Trouble and Freddy Got Fingered but some of them deserve to be rated much, much lower. I also think that there are alot of movies on the list that are there because people assume that they are bad and vote for them. Really, should the movies of Ed Wood even be on this list? I think that they are so bad as to transcend all reality.
And for the sake of parity, here's my list of Top 100
65 of 100, not quite passing, but pretty good.
1 'Manos' the Hands of Fate (1966) 1.6 (5381 votes)
2 From Justin to Kelly (2003) 1.6 (4047 votes)
3 Future War (1997) 1.7 (920 votes)
4 Space Mutiny (1988) 1.7 (1228 votes)
5 Eegah (1962) 1.7 (799 votes)
6 Troll 2 (1990) 1.7 (1264 votes)
7 Hobgoblins (1987) 1.8 (1534 votes)
8 Backyard Dogs (2000) 1.8 (981 votes)
9 Santa with Muscles (1996) 1.8 (1974 votes)
10 Gigli (2003) 1.9 (6697 votes)
11 Going Overboard (1989) 2.0 (840 votes)
12 Werewolf (1996) 2.0 (746 votes)
13 Uomo puma, L' (1980) 2.0 (633 votes)
14 Giant Spider Invasion, The (1975) 2.1 (666 votes)
15 Glitter (2001) 2.1 (3645 votes)
16 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997) 2.2 (800 votes)
17 Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994) 2.2 (4000 votes)
18 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) 2.2 (1380 votes)
19 Kazaam (1996) 2.3 (2341 votes)
20 Leonard Part 6 (1987) 2.3 (1817 votes)
21 Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000) 2.4 (11403 votes)
22 Hercules in New York (1970) 2.4 (1728 votes)
23 Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996) 2.4 (1793 votes)
24 Baby Geniuses (1999) 2.5 (2176 votes)
25 It's Pat (1994) 2.5 (1947 votes)
26 2001: A Space Travesty (2000) 2.5 (1181 votes)
27 Jaws: The Revenge (1987) 2.6 (3860 votes)
28 Cool as Ice (1991) 2.6 (905 votes)
29 Bolero (1984) 2.6 (1040 votes)
30 House of the Dead (2003) 2.7 (801 votes)
31 Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The (1994) 2.7 (1781 votes)
32 Mitchell (1975) 2.7 (977 votes)
33 Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989) 2.7 (3222 votes)
34 Teen Wolf Too (1987) 2.7 (1590 votes)
35 Smokey and the Bandit III (1983) 2.7 (1031 votes)
36 Vercingétorix (2001) 2.8 (983 votes)
37 Captain America (1991) 2.8 (904 votes)
38 Steel (1997) 2.8 (1035 votes)
39 Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988) 2.8 (3791 votes)
40 Cat in the Hat, The (2003) 2.8 (2029 votes)
41 Mannequin: On the Move (1991) 2.8 (838 votes)
42 Rollerball (2002) 2.8 (3552 votes)
43 Ringmaster (1998) 2.9 (1075 votes)
44 Tarzan, the Ape Man (1981) 2.9 (952 votes)
45 Master of Disguise, The (2002) 3.0 (2358 votes)
46 Problem Child 2 (1991) 3.0 (2463 votes)
47 Spice World (1997) 3.0 (5501 votes)
48 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995) 3.0 (1342 votes)
49 Mr. Nanny (1993) 3.0 (910 votes)
50 Cop & 1/2 (1993) 3.1 (1074 votes)
51 Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997) 3.1 (3946 votes)
52 Honey (2003) 3.1 (777 votes)
53 Street Fighter (1994) 3.1 (4753 votes)
54 Jaws 3-D (1983) 3.1 (3624 votes)
55 Double Dragon (1994) 3.1 (889 votes)
56 Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) 3.2 (4024 votes)
57 Barb Wire (1996) 3.2 (3896 votes)
58 Crossroads (2002) 3.2 (5940 votes)
59 Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, An (1997) 3.2 (926 votes)
60 Bats (1999/I) 3.2 (2179 votes)
61 FeardotCom (2002) 3.3 (3050 votes)
62 Universal Soldier: The Return (1999) 3.3 (2398 votes)
63 RoboCop 3 (1993) 3.3 (3044 votes)
64 Mangler, The (1995) 3.3 (784 votes)
65 Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) 3.3 (4562 votes)
66 Iron Eagle II (1988) 3.3 (842 votes)
67 Best Defense (1984) 3.3 (986 votes)
68 Ticker (2001) 3.3 (1035 votes)
69 Mac and Me (1988) 3.3 (822 votes)
70 Mr. Magoo (1997) 3.3 (1831 votes)
71 Grease 2 (1982) 3.3 (4124 votes)
72 Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) 3.3 (9685 votes)
73 Glen or Glenda (1953) 3.3 (1034 votes)
74 Mr. Wrong (1996) 3.4 (1328 votes)
75 Pokémon the First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back (1999) 3.4 (2616 votes)
76 Highlander II: The Quickening (1991) 3.4 (7498 votes)
77 Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) 3.4 (4186 votes)
78 Avengers, The (1998) 3.4 (8845 votes)
79 Jury Duty (1995) 3.4 (1420 votes)
80 Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977) 3.4 (2067 votes)
81 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003) 3.4 (2158 votes)
82 Derailed (2002) 3.4 (697 votes)
83 Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) 3.4 (5566 votes)
84 Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) 3.4 (2047 votes)
85 Freddy Got Fingered (2001) 3.4 (6083 votes)
86 Omega Code, The (1999) 3.5 (1683 votes)
87 Caddyshack II (1988) 3.5 (3064 votes)
88 Weekend at Bernie's II (1993) 3.5 (1562 votes)
89 Super Mario Bros. (1993) 3.5 (3595 votes)
90 Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002) 3.5 (3037 votes)
91 Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) 3.5 (2272 votes)
92 Endless Love (1981) 3.5 (839 votes)
93 Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978) 3.5 (1083 votes)
94 McHale's Navy (1997) 3.5 (1308 votes)
95 Nothing But Trouble (1991) 3.5 (2916 votes)
96 On Deadly Ground (1994) 3.5 (2671 votes)
97 Kangaroo Jack (2003) 3.5 (2346 votes)
98 Batman & Robin (1997) 3.6 (22218 votes)
99 Pet Sematary II (1992) 3.6 (1461 votes)
100 Leprechaun (1993) 3.6 (1712 votes)
That's 54 of 100. There are a number of films there that I don't think deserve being rated as badly as they are, such as Nothing But Trouble and Freddy Got Fingered but some of them deserve to be rated much, much lower. I also think that there are alot of movies on the list that are there because people assume that they are bad and vote for them. Really, should the movies of Ed Wood even be on this list? I think that they are so bad as to transcend all reality.
And for the sake of parity, here's my list of Top 100
1 Godfather, The (1972) 9.0/10 (87012 votes)
2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994) 8.9/10 (108645 votes)
3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974) 8.8/10 (50843 votes)
4 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003) 8.8/10 (45082 votes)
5 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002) 8.8/10 (72381 votes)
6 Casablanca (1942) 8.7/10 (50478 votes)
7 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001) 8.7/10 (116421 votes)
8 Schindler's List (1993) 8.7/10 (74193 votes)
9 Shichinin no samurai (1954) 8.7/10 (21283 votes)
10 Star Wars (1977) 8.7/10 (106112 votes)
11 Citizen Kane (1941) 8.7/10 (47062 votes)
12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975) 8.6/10 (52799 votes)
13 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) 8.6/10 (47772 votes)
14 Rear Window (1954) 8.6/10 (30759 votes)
15 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) 8.6/10 (81688 votes)
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) 8.6/10 (72590 votes)
17 Memento (2000) 8.6/10 (64436 votes)
18 Usual Suspects, The (1995) 8.6/10 (79742 votes)
19 Pulp Fiction (1994) 8.6/10 (96327 votes)
20 North by Northwest (1959) 8.5/10 (27427 votes)
21 12 Angry Men (1957) 8.5/10 (21017 votes)
22 Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le (2001) 8.5/10 (40383 votes)
23 Psycho (1960) 8.5/10 (41805 votes)
24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962) 8.5/10 (23667 votes)
25 Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966) 8.5/10 (18848 votes)
26 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991) 8.5/10 (71428 votes)
27 It's a Wonderful Life (1946) 8.5/10 (32217 votes)
28 Goodfellas (1990) 8.5/10 (49940 votes)
29 American Beauty (1999) 8.4/10 (84491 votes)
30 Vertigo (1958) 8.4/10 (26007 votes)
31 Sunset Blvd. (1950) 8.4/10 (11552 votes)
32 Matrix, The (1999) 8.4/10 (109941 votes)
33 Apocalypse Now (1979) 8.4/10 (48330 votes)
34 Pianist, The (2002) 8.4/10 (16558 votes)
35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) 8.4/10 (22655 votes)
36 C'era una volta il West (1968) 8.3/10 (10016 votes)
37 Some Like It Hot (1959) 8.3/10 (18889 votes)
38 Third Man, The (1949) 8.3/10 (13872 votes)
39 Taxi Driver (1976) 8.3/10 (34912 votes)
40 Paths of Glory (1957) 8.3/10 (10408 votes)
41 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001) 8.3/10 (12765 votes)
42 Fight Club (1999) 8.3/10 (78996 votes)
43 Boot, Das (1981) 8.3/10 (21848 votes)
44 Double Indemnity (1944) 8.3/10 (8729 votes)
45 L.A. Confidential (1997) 8.3/10 (54828 votes)
46 Chinatown (1974) 8.3/10 (19153 votes)
47 Singin' in the Rain (1952) 8.3/10 (15503 votes)
48 Maltese Falcon, The (1941) 8.3/10 (15195 votes)
49 M (1931) 8.3/10 (8674 votes)
50 Requiem for a Dream (2000) 8.3/10 (30558 votes)
51 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957) 8.3/10 (17160 votes)
52 All About Eve (1950) 8.3/10 (9912 votes)
53 Se7en (1995) 8.3/10 (64988 votes)
54 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) 8.3/10 (45623 votes)
55 Saving Private Ryan (1998) 8.2/10 (77312 votes)
56 Cidade de Deus (2002) 8.2/10 (8113 votes)
57 Raging Bull (1980) 8.2/10 (19303 votes)
58 Rashômon (1950) 8.2/10 (8015 votes)
59 Wizard of Oz, The (1939) 8.2/10 (29596 votes)
60 Sting, The (1973) 8.2/10 (18095 votes)
61 Alien (1979) 8.2/10 (47716 votes)
62 American History X (1998) 8.2/10 (41365 votes)
63 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939) 8.2/10 (8767 votes)
64 Léon (1994) 8.2/10 (36741 votes)
65 Vita è bella, La (1997) 8.2/10 (29202 votes)
66 Touch of Evil (1958) 8.2/10 (8990 votes)
67 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962) 8.2/10 (9937 votes)
68 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 8.2/10 (51266 votes)
69 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948) 8.2/10 (7783 votes)
70 Great Escape, The (1963) 8.2/10 (14614 votes)
71 Wo hu cang long (2000) 8.2/10 (40951 votes)
72 Reservoir Dogs (1992) 8.2/10 (49274 votes)
73 Clockwork Orange, A (1971) 8.2/10 (49051 votes)
74 Amadeus (1984) 8.2/10 (28486 votes)
75 Modern Times (1936) 8.2/10 (7300 votes)
76 Ran (1985) 8.2/10 (8516 votes)
77 Annie Hall (1977) 8.2/10 (15841 votes)
78 Jaws (1975) 8.2/10 (35772 votes)
79 On the Waterfront (1954) 8.2/10 (9075 votes)
80 Braveheart (1995) 8.1/10 (71078 votes)
81 High Noon (1952) 8.1/10 (9189 votes)
82 Apartment, The (1960) 8.1/10 (8210 votes)
83 Fargo (1996) 8.1/10 (51261 votes)
84 Sixth Sense, The (1999) 8.1/10 (73770 votes)
85 Aliens (1986) 8.1/10 (49659 votes)
86 Shining, The (1980) 8.1/10 (37151 votes)
87 Strangers on a Train (1951) 8.1/10 (7643 votes)
88 Blade Runner (1982) 8.1/10 (59740 votes)
89 Metropolis (1927) 8.1/10 (8597 votes)
90 Duck Soup (1933) 8.1/10 (7436 votes)
91 Finding Nemo (2003) 8.1/10 (20127 votes)
92 Donnie Darko (2001) 8.1/10 (25559 votes)
93 General, The (1927) 8.1/10 (4939 votes)
94 City Lights (1931) 8.1/10 (5577 votes)
95 Princess Bride, The (1987) 8.1/10 (42459 votes)
96 Toy Story 2 (1999) 8.1/10 (30474 votes)
97 Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) 8.1/10 (25365 votes)
98 Great Dictator, The (1940) 8.1/10 (7116 votes)
99 Sjunde inseglet, Det (1957) 8.0/10 (6565 votes)
100 Lola rennt (1998) 8.0/10 (24240 votes)
65 of 100, not quite passing, but pretty good.
House of the Dead
Sweet Jesus this is a bad movie.
It's like someone gave Andy Sidaris $60 million to make a movie but told him that he could only have two nude scenes at the very beginning, then brought in a room full of six year olds and sat them in front of an avid machine to do the edits.
I am unsure what the intent of the filmmakers was in House of the Dead. Were they trying to make a campy horror film or were they trying to tap into the crappy dialogue and cut scenes on the original game? Is it a horror film that just turned out badly?
Here's the story: A group of pretty, pretty people arrive on an island for the "year's biggest rave," and find it deserted. Then Zombies attack.
Someone seemed to think that it would be a good idea if the cast was able to fight Matrix style, and cut in footage from the game at various points for no reason.
I'm watching the movie as I write this, and Ellie Cornell's portrayal of Coast Guard Captain Jordan Casper is one of the worst performances I've ever seen in any film. She's bad porno movie actress bad. Every line reading is flat and uninspired. The amazing thing is that in such a horrible movie that her performance stands out as being as bad as it is.
This is listed as #30 on the Internet Movie Databse bottom 100, and it amazes me that it isn't rate lower than that.
Unlike Cabin Fever where I got the impression that everyone got the joke and the fact that the movie was a comedy rather than a horror film, I think one of the problems here is that different people wanted this movie to be different things, and in the end it came out as the lesser of all of the those.
Terrible.
It's like someone gave Andy Sidaris $60 million to make a movie but told him that he could only have two nude scenes at the very beginning, then brought in a room full of six year olds and sat them in front of an avid machine to do the edits.
I am unsure what the intent of the filmmakers was in House of the Dead. Were they trying to make a campy horror film or were they trying to tap into the crappy dialogue and cut scenes on the original game? Is it a horror film that just turned out badly?
Here's the story: A group of pretty, pretty people arrive on an island for the "year's biggest rave," and find it deserted. Then Zombies attack.
Someone seemed to think that it would be a good idea if the cast was able to fight Matrix style, and cut in footage from the game at various points for no reason.
I'm watching the movie as I write this, and Ellie Cornell's portrayal of Coast Guard Captain Jordan Casper is one of the worst performances I've ever seen in any film. She's bad porno movie actress bad. Every line reading is flat and uninspired. The amazing thing is that in such a horrible movie that her performance stands out as being as bad as it is.
This is listed as #30 on the Internet Movie Databse bottom 100, and it amazes me that it isn't rate lower than that.
Unlike Cabin Fever where I got the impression that everyone got the joke and the fact that the movie was a comedy rather than a horror film, I think one of the problems here is that different people wanted this movie to be different things, and in the end it came out as the lesser of all of the those.
Terrible.
Today's Funnies
Today's Funny comes to us from Sam Henderson's Magic Whistle [I believe it was issue #2, though I don't have it in front of me to check right now]:
Definitely a book you should buy if you see it anywhere.
Definitely a book you should buy if you see it anywhere.
Monday, January 26, 2004
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Damly F**k
I went to re-start my computer about an hour ago because AOL was being it's usual self, and when it went to come back on a screen I'd never seen before came on and stayed for awhile and then it went to black and told me
I stared at it for a few seconds, not getting angry at all yet, mind you. Then I did the only sensible thing in that situation, I tried restarting the computer. When Ctrl-Alt-Del got the same result, I tried turning it off and turining it back on. Then I tried unplugging the power cable and plugging it back in, same result.
So then I start to get a mite bit perturbed.
I went to hunting around my room for the re-install disc for my computer. I found one of the packets for my old computer that my sister now has, but that does me no good. Then after feeling my blood-pressure go up and up and a headache start a formin' I found the packet from this computer in one of my magazine racks (not the best place for it, I admit, I think I'll put it in the desk drawer from now on).
Lo and behold my computer comes with no restore disk, but rather a restore partition which you can make the disks from. The F10 for setup button fails to work for me from the startup screen that I was getting when I try it, and this makes me a teensy bit more rage filled.
Then I seach through the instruction manual and find out that I have to unhook everything except the keyboard moniter and mouse. So I tries that, and lo and behold the F10 now magically works and I am led through the forty minute process of re-installing and re-booting my computer.
Thank goodness my files are all still here.
I don't know what erased my OS, but I've gotten rid of all the files of the couple of software programs that I downloaded while it was on before, and I hope that will get it and this won't be a re-curring phenomenon.
Now I think it's about time for some of that sleeping.
Operating System Not Found
I stared at it for a few seconds, not getting angry at all yet, mind you. Then I did the only sensible thing in that situation, I tried restarting the computer. When Ctrl-Alt-Del got the same result, I tried turning it off and turining it back on. Then I tried unplugging the power cable and plugging it back in, same result.
So then I start to get a mite bit perturbed.
I went to hunting around my room for the re-install disc for my computer. I found one of the packets for my old computer that my sister now has, but that does me no good. Then after feeling my blood-pressure go up and up and a headache start a formin' I found the packet from this computer in one of my magazine racks (not the best place for it, I admit, I think I'll put it in the desk drawer from now on).
Lo and behold my computer comes with no restore disk, but rather a restore partition which you can make the disks from. The F10 for setup button fails to work for me from the startup screen that I was getting when I try it, and this makes me a teensy bit more rage filled.
Then I seach through the instruction manual and find out that I have to unhook everything except the keyboard moniter and mouse. So I tries that, and lo and behold the F10 now magically works and I am led through the forty minute process of re-installing and re-booting my computer.
Thank goodness my files are all still here.
I don't know what erased my OS, but I've gotten rid of all the files of the couple of software programs that I downloaded while it was on before, and I hope that will get it and this won't be a re-curring phenomenon.
Now I think it's about time for some of that sleeping.
Shuttle Launch
I now have Tommy to thank for knowing the meaning and usage of the term 'shuttle launch.' Yes it's a funny story, but no I did not need to know the term.
What disturbes me is that there is such a number of people doing it [apparantly somehow in contact with one another] that a term has been applied and passed into usage amongst some for the act.
No I will not give a definition, this is a family blog, needless to say it involves alot of cleaning up afterwards [and nothing sexual, unless you're into that type of thing (which I would hope that you aren't, and if so, keep it to yourself)].
What disturbes me is that there is such a number of people doing it [apparantly somehow in contact with one another] that a term has been applied and passed into usage amongst some for the act.
No I will not give a definition, this is a family blog, needless to say it involves alot of cleaning up afterwards [and nothing sexual, unless you're into that type of thing (which I would hope that you aren't, and if so, keep it to yourself)].
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Yahtzee
Today's Score to Beat: 582
High Score is Now: 582
Earlier I barely beat the former high of 510 with a slightly better 511, then, a few minutes ago I topped out at 582 with four Yahtzees.
Oh Yeah.
For those of you with a hankerin for some yahtzee spankerin, go to Yahtzee.org for a nice little windows version of the game. You can then try to beat my fantabolous score above [try but you never shall].
High Score is Now: 582
Earlier I barely beat the former high of 510 with a slightly better 511, then, a few minutes ago I topped out at 582 with four Yahtzees.
Oh Yeah.
For those of you with a hankerin for some yahtzee spankerin, go to Yahtzee.org for a nice little windows version of the game. You can then try to beat my fantabolous score above [try but you never shall].
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Today's Test
Oh, uh, shut up.
Here's the test.
Translate these sentences from the Latin:
1. Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum
2. Denique diaetam efficacem inveni
3. Oportet ministros manus lavare antequam latrinam relinquent
Here's the test.
Translate these sentences from the Latin:
1. Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum
2. Denique diaetam efficacem inveni
3. Oportet ministros manus lavare antequam latrinam relinquent
Man OD's on Pot
A stupid foreigner has apparantly died due to complications from his being so blinkardly pig-ignorant.
Twasn't the reefer that killed him, it was the fact that he smoked six joints a day for eleven years. Anyone should know that if you do anything that much for that long a sustained a time that something bad will most likely happen.
If pot was deadly you'd see more potheads die from it rather than just getting lazy and lethargic.
Twasn't the reefer that killed him, it was the fact that he smoked six joints a day for eleven years. Anyone should know that if you do anything that much for that long a sustained a time that something bad will most likely happen.
If pot was deadly you'd see more potheads die from it rather than just getting lazy and lethargic.
Monday, January 19, 2004
Yahtzee
Today's Score to Beat: 510
High Score is Now: 510
I am now King of Yahtzee, all shall kneel before me. I knew there had to be a reason that I am unable to sleep right now, and I now know that it was ordained by the Universe that I should remain awake so that the prophecy could be fulfilled.
What prophecy, you ask?
Why the ancient Prophecy of the one true Yahtzee Lord that will come forth to issue fire and death from his orbiting "Laser-Platform." As it says in The Book of incongruous Secretion Chapter 24: verse 12-14:
So you of course see how this all makes sense.
Seriously though 510 is a crazy high score. I used to think that 485 was crazy high, now the bar has been kicked waaay up.
Bring it.
High Score is Now: 510
I am now King of Yahtzee, all shall kneel before me. I knew there had to be a reason that I am unable to sleep right now, and I now know that it was ordained by the Universe that I should remain awake so that the prophecy could be fulfilled.
What prophecy, you ask?
Why the ancient Prophecy of the one true Yahtzee Lord that will come forth to issue fire and death from his orbiting "Laser-Platform." As it says in The Book of incongruous Secretion Chapter 24: verse 12-14:
And yea there shall be one who shall scoreth a multitude plus twenty-three on the poker dice and his name shall be feared upon all the lands and his issue shall be that of loveliness.
And he shall gather about him a vestament of iron and steel and rise above the clouds and rain forth fire and candies [sic] down upon the kingdoms.
It shall come to pass in the year of the Tackleberry on the day of inhospitable coldness.
So you of course see how this all makes sense.
Seriously though 510 is a crazy high score. I used to think that 485 was crazy high, now the bar has been kicked waaay up.
Bring it.
Why I hate Chuck Austen's Work
Sorry if this is a little unfocused, it’s been in an intermediate form for awhile and I haven’t really proofed most of it, but I’m tired of having it on my desktop
"The editor's at marvel who were running the x-men, were looking for a new writer to take over for a guy who was writing for awhile and was planning on leaving the book and they took a chance on me."
That's Chuck Austen writer of Uncanny X-Men and US War Machine and former artist on Elektra, on the X-Men United Origin of Nightcrawler featurette on the X2 DVD.
Let me tell you up front, there are two people that I loathe the work of in the comic industry. Two people that I don't think that I could attend a convention that they were guests at, due to the fact that am afraid I would verbally and perhaps physically assault (or be totally charmed and enamored by them, which would be much worse).
Those two men are Tom DeFalco and Chuck Austen.
DeFalco is the former Editor-in-chief at Marvel, and the man responsible for some of the worst written stories on some of my favorite books. He's the one who decided to take Thor from the direction that Warren Ellis put him on in the World Engine story and make him into Red Norville. He's the one who wrote that. He's the one who wrote the final issue of Silver Surfer which completely ignored every bit of the wonderful story by JM Demattais that had been built before it. Suddenly in the middle of a long term storyline about the Surfer's gradual awakening of emotion and humanity we get a story where Firelord gets pissed off about all those nuclear power plants on Earth and decides to destroy them. Surfer flies in and stops him. Then the book was cancelled.
I hate Tom DeFalco, he panders to the audience and comes off sounding like a 50-year-old hack when he tries to write teenage dialogue. ("Let's mention the internet, the kids love the internet!")
I really hate Defalco's writing. He's made it a habit of taking well written, under-performing books and driving them right into the ground.
The person who has superceded in recent times as my most hated man in comics, though, is King Hack himself, Chuck Austen.
Austen once bragged to Wizard magazine that he could draw and ink 10 pages a day with the computer program that he uses. I was even fooled into buying the first six issues of US War Machine when Wizard touted it as an Manga style story. The issues were black and white and would come out weekly for only $1.50.
I ordered the first six issues from my comic store (since the catalog is two months ahead of production) and didn't realize my error until I was obligated to buy all six.
What a waste of time and paper. The story is a mess of violence for violence's sake, racist and sexist stereotypes and drawn badly to boot.
There is a reason that Chuck doesn't "draw" comics anymore.
I bought some of the run of Elektra that he worked on because Bendis was writing it, but that was also a waste of time. I think that book was the first badly done Bendis book, and it may have been in part due to the atrocious artwork.
Chuck then went on to take over Uncanny X-Men after the departure of real writer Joe Casey. Joe either quit or was fired from the book when he ran into the same corporate BS that every writer since Claeremont has complained of. The editors tell you what to write on the book and think nothing of changing something they don't like. You also have to put up with the periodic tie-in multi-book storylines (and crap like the 'Nuff Said month).
Joe wrote a nice little story called Poptopia about a Britney Spears-like popstar who is a mutant and starts dating the X-Man Chamber. Then did such things as turning former X-Man Banshee into a psuedo-villan and...well, he wrote some good stories that were drawn by the super-talented Ron Garney.
What does Marvel do? Runs that troublesome Joe Casey off and hires on yes-man Chuck Austen.
(Somehow through all this Grant Morrison got to keep on writing his incredibly well done New X-Men series without much interference that I've heard of)
Austen proceeded then to say "well, I don't much care for all this nonsense about Nightcrawler being a priest and whatnot, lets just get rid of all that and make him the child of the devil."
I promptly stopped buying after the clunky transition issue.
I'm all for each new team having their own direction and continuity be damned, but the writer should at least be able to write convincing dialogue and characters. If you want to change the book, fine, but make it convincing. Don't just up pull a Dallas on us.
What does Marvel do to reward Austen for "bringing up the sales" of Uncanny? They give him New X-Men to write after Morrison leaves. That sure sounds like a good idea!
Not content to just follow up on Kelly's run on Uncanny and drive the book into the ground creatively, He'd also like to take over Superman and work his 'magic' with that character as well.
In an interview printed at CBR he said:
I decided on buying none, and saving none, then going online and complaining, a lot.
He goes on to have this to say about the online bruhaha over his run on Uncanny:
I agree with him that there is a lot of invalid criticism of the knee-jerk, I-don't-like-this-cause-it's-different variety out there on the infotainment superhighway, but, see there's one thing where he's off base here and let me spell it out for you plainly: Chuck Austen is a really shitty writer.
I'm not going off on his Eternal book, because, at least that's his own thing, where he's pretty much breaking the ground, but to go on and on about how these 'twelve angry trolls' need their comfort stories, well, that's what the spandex comics are providing. The rest of the audience has deserted the market, driving down sales across the board from where they were only a few years ago. I don't think touting sales that are waaaay up, when you're still only really selling 200,000 or so copies of a book is pretty pathetic. It couldn't have been that the sales got a little spike after the release of X2 could it? Nah.
I am all for new stories and new directions, but that's what I want, new. Let's let the tired old characters take a rest for awhile and breathe in some fresh air. At the very least do something different along the same lines as the old books, look at X-Statix, there is a fine book that took the germ of an idea and made something new of it, not just changing characters willy-nilly to make them what you want.
He then went on to almost make a point that I agree with:
He starts out well then falls apart. Let me translate the Austen-Speak for you: Books and characters should have a beginning and an end with little over-all continuity (except the books that I want to write, like Nightcrawler and X-Men and Superman). You don't like what the companies are putting out? Tough shit. Lap it up cause it's all you get. We could just as easily stop making any books, it's not like your market is big enough to warrant the lavish attention that we give you anyway.
I agree that Manga has something going on with the idea that there are defined runs to stories, not just an unending soap-opera that is just a swirling around of the same elements. I agree that there shouldn't be such an emphasis on minutiae in the comic industry, it would be a bit like demanding that each and every novel published by Tor exist in the same universe and every writer take every word that has ever been published by Tor into account and work it into their narrative.
Here's where I differ and think that Chuck is a pompus douche: Just look at Grant Morrison's runs on New X-Men and JLA. He took the existing characters and some of the general situations and crafted stories that were uniquely his. He used the core of the characters that he liked and wrote stories around that. I don't think that you would have to have read any previous X-books to understand his run, everything is there that you need to continue, and he doesn't just treat the characters as puppets that will say or do anything, he does what a real writer does and let's the characters determine the plot. When you read one of his books you know who is saying the words even without looking to where the bubble is pointing. Each character is clearly defined. That was the problem that I had with Chuck's first X-book, anyone could have said any of the lines and it would have made sense, no one had any definable characteristics that were their own.
I'm getting up near the end now.
I can see Morrison's run on New X-Men as having a beginning middle and end. He has used the characters as a stock company to tell the story, remaining true to what they are and what they have been over time: Cyclops is the pent up goody that just wants to let loose, but doesn't know how: Jean loves Scott, but wants him to be more like Logan, but she wants to be the one to help him to be that way: Emma wants to stir things up and is a cold, cold bitch: Charles is a manipulator of the highest order, but may be deluding himself more than Magneto, and so on. When the last Morrison issue wraps up it will be the finale for his X-Men, Chuck will come in and undo everything he can in the next few issues, but there isn't really a need to. All he should have to do is do the same thing that Morrison did at the beginning of New X-Men, just start fresh. Take the characters he wants to use and let them create a story.
"The editor's at marvel who were running the x-men, were looking for a new writer to take over for a guy who was writing for awhile and was planning on leaving the book and they took a chance on me."
That's Chuck Austen writer of Uncanny X-Men and US War Machine and former artist on Elektra, on the X-Men United Origin of Nightcrawler featurette on the X2 DVD.
Let me tell you up front, there are two people that I loathe the work of in the comic industry. Two people that I don't think that I could attend a convention that they were guests at, due to the fact that am afraid I would verbally and perhaps physically assault (or be totally charmed and enamored by them, which would be much worse).
Those two men are Tom DeFalco and Chuck Austen.
DeFalco is the former Editor-in-chief at Marvel, and the man responsible for some of the worst written stories on some of my favorite books. He's the one who decided to take Thor from the direction that Warren Ellis put him on in the World Engine story and make him into Red Norville. He's the one who wrote that. He's the one who wrote the final issue of Silver Surfer which completely ignored every bit of the wonderful story by JM Demattais that had been built before it. Suddenly in the middle of a long term storyline about the Surfer's gradual awakening of emotion and humanity we get a story where Firelord gets pissed off about all those nuclear power plants on Earth and decides to destroy them. Surfer flies in and stops him. Then the book was cancelled.
I hate Tom DeFalco, he panders to the audience and comes off sounding like a 50-year-old hack when he tries to write teenage dialogue. ("Let's mention the internet, the kids love the internet!")
I really hate Defalco's writing. He's made it a habit of taking well written, under-performing books and driving them right into the ground.
The person who has superceded in recent times as my most hated man in comics, though, is King Hack himself, Chuck Austen.
Austen once bragged to Wizard magazine that he could draw and ink 10 pages a day with the computer program that he uses. I was even fooled into buying the first six issues of US War Machine when Wizard touted it as an Manga style story. The issues were black and white and would come out weekly for only $1.50.
I ordered the first six issues from my comic store (since the catalog is two months ahead of production) and didn't realize my error until I was obligated to buy all six.
What a waste of time and paper. The story is a mess of violence for violence's sake, racist and sexist stereotypes and drawn badly to boot.
There is a reason that Chuck doesn't "draw" comics anymore.
I bought some of the run of Elektra that he worked on because Bendis was writing it, but that was also a waste of time. I think that book was the first badly done Bendis book, and it may have been in part due to the atrocious artwork.
Chuck then went on to take over Uncanny X-Men after the departure of real writer Joe Casey. Joe either quit or was fired from the book when he ran into the same corporate BS that every writer since Claeremont has complained of. The editors tell you what to write on the book and think nothing of changing something they don't like. You also have to put up with the periodic tie-in multi-book storylines (and crap like the 'Nuff Said month).
Joe wrote a nice little story called Poptopia about a Britney Spears-like popstar who is a mutant and starts dating the X-Man Chamber. Then did such things as turning former X-Man Banshee into a psuedo-villan and...well, he wrote some good stories that were drawn by the super-talented Ron Garney.
What does Marvel do? Runs that troublesome Joe Casey off and hires on yes-man Chuck Austen.
(Somehow through all this Grant Morrison got to keep on writing his incredibly well done New X-Men series without much interference that I've heard of)
Austen proceeded then to say "well, I don't much care for all this nonsense about Nightcrawler being a priest and whatnot, lets just get rid of all that and make him the child of the devil."
I promptly stopped buying after the clunky transition issue.
I'm all for each new team having their own direction and continuity be damned, but the writer should at least be able to write convincing dialogue and characters. If you want to change the book, fine, but make it convincing. Don't just up pull a Dallas on us.
What does Marvel do to reward Austen for "bringing up the sales" of Uncanny? They give him New X-Men to write after Morrison leaves. That sure sounds like a good idea!
Not content to just follow up on Kelly's run on Uncanny and drive the book into the ground creatively, He'd also like to take over Superman and work his 'magic' with that character as well.
In an interview printed at CBR he said:
Nothing against Joe Kelly. I love the guy and think he's a great writer. But that's the Superman he was given, and not the one I'd write...
...I wrote that story as a 'How would I handle the character' which is now going to set Superman fandom aflame (laughs). 'If that's what he's going to do, then I'm out! I'll only buy two and burn one but keep the other in mint condition just in case. And complain online! A lot!'
I decided on buying none, and saving none, then going online and complaining, a lot.
He goes on to have this to say about the online bruhaha over his run on Uncanny:
"Oh, it's not really that much controversy. It's the same twelve trolls all over the net. Most of the X-Fans are nice people, who are enjoying what I'm doing on 'Uncanny,' and mostly keep quiet so the twelve angry trolls don't molest them.
"But, honestly, it'll be worse than the X-Fans. Superman's older, and has more long term fans. I did one story in line with the direction I'll be taking, and the Internet exploded with rage and hatred. But honestly, it doesn't worry me. Some X-Fans complain loudly, but they are few. Sales are waaaaay up since I took over. If people were hating my work as much as those trolls claimed, sales would be tanking. These are just jealous people who want my job and think they're smarter than me. I can't be good, because they have different ideas. BZZZZT! Wrong answer. Thanks for playing our game. Here's your consolation prize.
"The thing about the complainers, is that they tend to be the 'comfort food' readers, and wanna-be creators. These are people who don't want to be challenged, who don't want anything to change, ever, and whose story ideas tend to be about plugging holes in continuity, not about telling actual 'stories,' if they even know what those are. These people always want the same story with the same characters, who are all good and friendly and loving, and are basically a bunch of Smurfs in New York. There's a book out right now called - I can't remember the name right now - bit it deals with a Jungian analysis of myth and points out how people become comfortable with a myth become very possessive of the telling of that myth, that it has to conform to the way they heard it and enjoyed it most, and they become angry when character and personality and plot are changed from what they love and remember fondly. Like how children get when you tell the bedtime story different the second night, or the third night. They want the way they heard it first.
I agree with him that there is a lot of invalid criticism of the knee-jerk, I-don't-like-this-cause-it's-different variety out there on the infotainment superhighway, but, see there's one thing where he's off base here and let me spell it out for you plainly: Chuck Austen is a really shitty writer.
I'm not going off on his Eternal book, because, at least that's his own thing, where he's pretty much breaking the ground, but to go on and on about how these 'twelve angry trolls' need their comfort stories, well, that's what the spandex comics are providing. The rest of the audience has deserted the market, driving down sales across the board from where they were only a few years ago. I don't think touting sales that are waaaay up, when you're still only really selling 200,000 or so copies of a book is pretty pathetic. It couldn't have been that the sales got a little spike after the release of X2 could it? Nah.
I am all for new stories and new directions, but that's what I want, new. Let's let the tired old characters take a rest for awhile and breathe in some fresh air. At the very least do something different along the same lines as the old books, look at X-Statix, there is a fine book that took the germ of an idea and made something new of it, not just changing characters willy-nilly to make them what you want.
He then went on to almost make a point that I agree with:
But I've also been outspoken about my hatred for continuity. And this is making manga more appealing. Do you know how hard it is to write a story with a world threatening menace when everyone knows Thor is floating over New York with all the other Norse Gods? All these books tied together, all these bits of history and minutiae that fans expect you to know every single piece of? Jeez, what a nightmare. And so pointless. Anyone who disagrees does not understand story.
"I think all the books are more interesting separate from one another, not connected. I think characters should have a defined run, and then end. Someone wants to see more of the character, reprint. Or convince the creator to do another one. But make it great, make it finite. End it with a bang.
But comics don't end, anymore. Not really. If this business were run as a real business, comics would cease to be published at DC, and most of Marvel's books would have been gone long ago. These things are kept alive for different reasons, licensing, primarily, and people are complaining? You and me are so damn lucky we're so catered to. If someone who was seriously worried about money had come along recently, superheroes would have been axed in favor of manga and Sci-Fi European graphic novels last year. Direct distribution would have been seen as the dwindling market that it is, not a growing one. From a purely profit standpoint, black and white manga sold through other channels as well as direct distribution, make a LOT more money than color versions of 'Superman: Metropolis.' Than most versions of Superman right now. It's a financial beast, and as we speak, every major publisher is looking to get into it.
He starts out well then falls apart. Let me translate the Austen-Speak for you: Books and characters should have a beginning and an end with little over-all continuity (except the books that I want to write, like Nightcrawler and X-Men and Superman). You don't like what the companies are putting out? Tough shit. Lap it up cause it's all you get. We could just as easily stop making any books, it's not like your market is big enough to warrant the lavish attention that we give you anyway.
I agree that Manga has something going on with the idea that there are defined runs to stories, not just an unending soap-opera that is just a swirling around of the same elements. I agree that there shouldn't be such an emphasis on minutiae in the comic industry, it would be a bit like demanding that each and every novel published by Tor exist in the same universe and every writer take every word that has ever been published by Tor into account and work it into their narrative.
Here's where I differ and think that Chuck is a pompus douche: Just look at Grant Morrison's runs on New X-Men and JLA. He took the existing characters and some of the general situations and crafted stories that were uniquely his. He used the core of the characters that he liked and wrote stories around that. I don't think that you would have to have read any previous X-books to understand his run, everything is there that you need to continue, and he doesn't just treat the characters as puppets that will say or do anything, he does what a real writer does and let's the characters determine the plot. When you read one of his books you know who is saying the words even without looking to where the bubble is pointing. Each character is clearly defined. That was the problem that I had with Chuck's first X-book, anyone could have said any of the lines and it would have made sense, no one had any definable characteristics that were their own.
I'm getting up near the end now.
I can see Morrison's run on New X-Men as having a beginning middle and end. He has used the characters as a stock company to tell the story, remaining true to what they are and what they have been over time: Cyclops is the pent up goody that just wants to let loose, but doesn't know how: Jean loves Scott, but wants him to be more like Logan, but she wants to be the one to help him to be that way: Emma wants to stir things up and is a cold, cold bitch: Charles is a manipulator of the highest order, but may be deluding himself more than Magneto, and so on. When the last Morrison issue wraps up it will be the finale for his X-Men, Chuck will come in and undo everything he can in the next few issues, but there isn't really a need to. All he should have to do is do the same thing that Morrison did at the beginning of New X-Men, just start fresh. Take the characters he wants to use and let them create a story.
Friday, January 16, 2004
Sleep Deprivation and Gorillas
I've been up in the neighborhood of 24 hours now, and though it is not the longest duration that I have gone without sleep, I am nonetheless pretty frickin tired right about now.
I knew that the delirium had set in for good when I became convinced that one of the keys to solving the narrative problems in my Big Stupid Metaphysical Action Story is Talking Kung-Fu Gorillas.
The scary part is the idea still makes sense.
I knew that the delirium had set in for good when I became convinced that one of the keys to solving the narrative problems in my Big Stupid Metaphysical Action Story is Talking Kung-Fu Gorillas.
The scary part is the idea still makes sense.
Thursday, January 15, 2004
The Real Story
Steven Grant has an interesting look into the true story of one of America's most famous families in his new Permanent Damage column at CBR
Among other things we learn:
And my personal favorite:
Go on and give it a read.
Among other things we learn:
Both kids vanished in '69. It wasn't until much later anyone found out what happened. Jethro had been trying to be a record producer, and hung out with someone named Terry Melchor, a famous actress' son who now produced a famous combo called The Beach Boys. Melchor considered a recent discovery, a street musician called Charlie, unmanageable, and cut him loose, but Jethro got it in his head he could turn Charlie into a star, as if saying it would make it true. Charlie was everything Jethro wanted to be, a man who made his own rules. Charlie lived on a commune on a ranch in the north San Fernando Valley, with a whole family of free spirits including many girls. In Jethro, Charlie might have seen a disciple or a meal ticket, but he invited the boy to come stay at the ranch. Jed saw him once after that, when he came home for his things, hair unkempt and a patchy beard growing from his chin for the first time, spouting something Jed didn't quite understand about a coming race war and how God wanted the white man to retreat to the desert. As quickly as he appeared, he was gone again. Elly went with him.
And my personal favorite:
The FDA raided Granny's self-declared medical practice. Offended by an invasion of government officials on her property, she defended herself as she always had, with a long barrel rifle. A SWAT team cut her down on the Clampett front porch. For several weeks, tabloid magazines and TV news programs were filled with lurid tales of "the Beverly Hills Witch," most invented from scratch, before interest evaporated. A few mentioned the "living dead man" found inside the mansion, reputedly the witch's zombified captive and intended victim. Consigned to a county hospital for observation, Jed turned to Drysdale for help, but by this time Drysdale was of no use. Investigations revealed his role in drug trafficking, and learned he had been using those profits and the portfolios he managed for rich clients, including Jed, to buy up savings-and-loans. But the S&Ls had collapsed, taking Jed's fortune with them. Drysdale, facing prosecution and certain conviction, put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger, leaving his wife and grown son, who had always prided themselves on their stations in life, to fend for themselves, tainted by association.
Go on and give it a read.
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Scary
Here's my try at one of Warren Ellis' favorite games:
Don't Click Here.
Especially Tommy. You have been warned. Really.
For those of you foolhardy enough it is about a 1mb .wmv file. Not for the faint of heart. I recommend watching it on a perpetual loop, that makes it better.
For those of you too timid, or needing your mind cleansed from the experience, here's a Trial version of a little Lemmings-like game save the mice from cats and falling into pits and whatnot. Strangely addictive.
Don't Click Here.
Especially Tommy. You have been warned. Really.
For those of you foolhardy enough it is about a 1mb .wmv file. Not for the faint of heart. I recommend watching it on a perpetual loop, that makes it better.
For those of you too timid, or needing your mind cleansed from the experience, here's a Trial version of a little Lemmings-like game save the mice from cats and falling into pits and whatnot. Strangely addictive.
Sunday, January 11, 2004
My Top Ten Films of 2003
Granted, I didn't see every film that came out this year, and I'm sure that some of the ones that I haven't gotten to yet but want to (i.e. Lost In Translation) are no doubt very worthy, but these are my top picks from the ones that I did see (and remember seeing).
And now the most vile films of the year:
There you have it Academy voters.
1. Lord of the Rings The Return of the King--Just like every other fanboy out there this one tops the list with the best mixture of everything that makes epic films great. Puts Lucas right in his place.
2. Kill Bill vol. 1--Even without the Bill, this one was pretty damn good. If you don't like the kung-fu 70s style exploitation films, or Quentin Tarantino, this might not be your bag, but if you do...you are not to be disappointed.
3. Once Apon a Time In Mexico--Another gratuitously violent film, but another good one. Short and fast paced, this one could be a bit confusing, but look at all the pretty, pretty violence (and Johnny Depp took his first step towards his new found Jack Nicholson-like God-dom of Cinema).
4. Pirates of the Caribbean--The film that cemented Johnny's Godhood in the movies, and will be responsible for bringing back a resurgence of pirate films. Just a really good movie all around.
5. A Mighty Wind--Screw all the people who didn't think that this was as good a film as Waiting for Guffman or Best in Show. It doesn't have to be. This is still a damn fine comedy, and quite clever and sometimes subtle with its humor. Eugene Levy had a fine performance, no matter what some of the review I've read say. Also, Fred Willard is a comedic genius.
6. X2--Another geektastic experience. That is all on that one.
7. Terminator 3--I know lots of people didn't like this one either, but I thought that the story was rounded out nicely, and I don't care if it was just an excuse to start a new franchise with the films. Also, I likes me some Claire Danes.
8. Bad Santa--Not for everybody, but funny if you like mean-ass humor.
9. Identity--To those who think the ending of this tight little thriller negates the entire film--you are idiots my friends--it's the purpose of the film. Everything in the film builds to that point. It no more negates the film than the finale of St. Elsewhere did.
10. Secondhand Lions--Joey gives me unending guff about this one, but I liked it. Cut the final scene off and this was a classic film.
And now the most vile films of the year:
The Matrix: Revolutions--Quite possibly the most depressing third film of a series outside of Godfather III (which was a much better film). I can't even begin to express my disappointment with this one. It's as if they said "We've got characters and concepts that people like and that work, but let's forget all that, what they really want is Jada Pinkett Smith and alot of Hippies at the center of the earth fighting giant robot squids in mech suits!" Then there is the complete and utter pussification of Morpheus that happens here. He goes from the wise and seemingly all-knowing holy man ass-kicker to Jada Pinkett's co-pilot. I know he put on a little weight, but give the man something to do. They wussed out of the logical progression of the film, that the "real world" was just another Matrix designed to trap those people who were just a little too rebellious, and instead gave us a non-ending where the machines still use people as batteries, only now alot more of the people at the center of the Earth are dead and they have less ships to go to the surface and scavage, but hey, that matrix world has some pretty sunrises in it. Just worthless crap on a stick.
LXG--I have said enough about this abomination.
There you have it Academy voters.
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Yahtzee
Today's Score to Beat: 431
High Score is Still: 485
Speaking of Yahtzee, I went looking for a Yahtzee game for the computer, and what I found puzzles me. I was hoping for a freeware game with just the basics, something that would pretty much do the same thing as my electronic version, but the official shareware game (good for 20 minutes at a time, and we all know how engrossing a good game or 300 of Yahtzee can be, virtually eats up all the free time) has a 3-D environment. There's a 3-D cup to roll the dice in and a table, and a room around the table. I didn't read long enough to find out if there were players to choose from.
Isn't that a bit like designing a computer version of any board game, say Chess or Checkers and then making a super realistic room for the board to sit on? I can even understand in a game like Chess or Checkers where there is some form of board position that is intrinsic to the playing of the game, but Yahtzee? All you need to play Yahtzee is five dice, a cup (or your hand), a flat surface and a pencil and paper. That's it. Where you do it has no bearing on the game whatsoever. It would be like a poker game with a detailed room and computer players (though that could be made interesting if the players were full interactive and maybe had little tells that you could see if they were bluffing or had good hands or whatnot).
Perhaps I ponder these things too much.
High Score is Still: 485
Speaking of Yahtzee, I went looking for a Yahtzee game for the computer, and what I found puzzles me. I was hoping for a freeware game with just the basics, something that would pretty much do the same thing as my electronic version, but the official shareware game (good for 20 minutes at a time, and we all know how engrossing a good game or 300 of Yahtzee can be, virtually eats up all the free time) has a 3-D environment. There's a 3-D cup to roll the dice in and a table, and a room around the table. I didn't read long enough to find out if there were players to choose from.
Isn't that a bit like designing a computer version of any board game, say Chess or Checkers and then making a super realistic room for the board to sit on? I can even understand in a game like Chess or Checkers where there is some form of board position that is intrinsic to the playing of the game, but Yahtzee? All you need to play Yahtzee is five dice, a cup (or your hand), a flat surface and a pencil and paper. That's it. Where you do it has no bearing on the game whatsoever. It would be like a poker game with a detailed room and computer players (though that could be made interesting if the players were full interactive and maybe had little tells that you could see if they were bluffing or had good hands or whatnot).
Perhaps I ponder these things too much.
Friday, January 09, 2004
More Wit and Wisdom From the Samurai
From the Hagakure:
Information to be treasured indeed.
If you cut a face lengthwise, urinate on it, and trample on it with straw sandals, it is said that the skin will come off. This was heard by a priest Gyojaku when he was in Kyoto. It is information to be treasured.
Information to be treasured indeed.
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Carrot Top
Angry Jack bought me the Carrot Top Rocks Las Vegas DVD for Christmas (knowing of my love for the Top), and I had promptly forgotten about it until today when I decided to give it a look.
The back boasts of 'detailed liner notes' which turn out to be one side of a sheet which give such illuminating facts as his birthday (Feb. 25), height (5'11") and weight (145), and the fact that he has a small carrot tattoed on his ankle.
Moving on to the disc itself, it seems that they were not content to leave well enough alone and make this a concert video, but rather they decided to chop it up and add in little sound effects and videos to illustrate the jokes. This has the effect of ruining any sort of rhythm that the top might actually have in the show.
I made it about ten minutes in before switching to my DVD of this years WWF Royal Rumble. It is the most wonderful in-ring debut of Scott Steiner. I was just noticing that Chris Nowinski uses the Lex Luger tactic of standing outside the ring during the duration of the match and largely letting the other guys do all the work. If, at that point, he actually had some presence he could have made that a strong tactic, but it actually just make shim look incredibly weak. I think the spot they just did is the one where Nowinski broke his nose, necessitating wearing a face mask for a larger part of the year.
I realize that the preceeding paragraph means nothing to the larger part of the potential audience of this post, but, oh well, I really don't have that much to say about the Top.
The back boasts of 'detailed liner notes' which turn out to be one side of a sheet which give such illuminating facts as his birthday (Feb. 25), height (5'11") and weight (145), and the fact that he has a small carrot tattoed on his ankle.
Moving on to the disc itself, it seems that they were not content to leave well enough alone and make this a concert video, but rather they decided to chop it up and add in little sound effects and videos to illustrate the jokes. This has the effect of ruining any sort of rhythm that the top might actually have in the show.
I made it about ten minutes in before switching to my DVD of this years WWF Royal Rumble. It is the most wonderful in-ring debut of Scott Steiner. I was just noticing that Chris Nowinski uses the Lex Luger tactic of standing outside the ring during the duration of the match and largely letting the other guys do all the work. If, at that point, he actually had some presence he could have made that a strong tactic, but it actually just make shim look incredibly weak. I think the spot they just did is the one where Nowinski broke his nose, necessitating wearing a face mask for a larger part of the year.
I realize that the preceeding paragraph means nothing to the larger part of the potential audience of this post, but, oh well, I really don't have that much to say about the Top.
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
Script Fragment
Here's another little something to make up for the lack of posting. I wrote this quite awhile back as the script for either an animated short or a comic, but neither has been produced (owing to my extreme laziness and apathy). I've cut it off where it is because after this bit it just went to notes with a bit of dialogue.
The Rutger Hauer Hour, being a story of the insidious Dr. Satan and his platonic love for Rutger Hauer.
Open on various shots of DR SATAN waking and going about his morning business in his small apartment, showering, shaving the sides of his goatee and sideburns, brushing his teeth, and making his beard and hair into the little points. He opens the door from the bathroom and behind it is BEAR.
Dr. Satan
GAAAHHHH!!!!
Bear
GAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Dr. Satan
Oh, it is only the insolent bear with which I live.
Bear
Are you finished in there? I think I need to make some root beer.
Dr. Satan
You are greatly disgusting me.
Bear
Whatever.
Now we go to DR SATAN in his work clothes preparing for the day, eating breakfast, reading the newspaper, looking at porn on the internet, whatever. BEAR comes in, carrying a cup of coffee, and wearing some form of work shirt.
Bear
What’s the show about this week?
Dr. Satan
I hate insolent bears. The show is called Rutger Hauer Hour of Power.
Bear
Rutger Hauer Hour would be better, it’s shorter and snappier.
Dr. Satan
Am I in the habit of answering to you?
Bear
Whatever chief. It’s your show.
Bear
Your show is only 30 minutes though, isn’t it?
Dr. Satan
Yes, what of it?
Bear
So how can it be an Hour of Rutger Hauer when you only have 30 minutes?
Dr. Satan (indignant and angry)
Perhaps, insolent Bear, I am making two shows at once, both involving the wonderful Mr. Hauer.
Bear (humoring him)
There’s definitely enough there for two shows isn’t there?
Dr. Satan
He is the star of the films Bladerunner, LadyHawke, and of course Blind Fury.
Bear
And Omega Doom.
Dr. Satan
SPEAK NOT THAT NAME.
Bear
Whatever.
Later Establishing shot of the building where the show is taped. Local cable access station. A small squat building. DR SATAN is going over his pre-show notes on the set. CHOP SUEY SOCCER GUY comes in.
Dr Satan
Has the excellent Mr. Hauer arrived yet.
CSSG
Naw man.
Dr. Satan
It is being time for the show very soon. I am hoping he will arrive in the meantime.
CSSG
Man you crazy. Why you want him on the show so bad? Why not have on Danny Glover or Carrot Top or somebody cool like that.
Dr. Satan
None is cooler than Rutger Hauer, nor more deserving of the affection of all.
CSSG
You crazy man.
Show opening, various shots of DR SATAN and CSSG as well as other characters. Explosions, dancing girls, the last shot is of Dr. Satan in a dress looking like a little girl, he looking pissed . The title glyph, in Kanji says “Super Gaijin Dance Party,” the next card says Rutger Hauer Hour.
We come up on the desk, where DR SATAN sits with CSSG to his right in on the couch
Dr. Satan
Welcome all to my show with good tidings. On show today we are having some very special guest. The favorite actor of all my Dark Glory, the valiant Mr. Rutger Hauer. He is being the star of the wonderful films, Bind Fury and Bladerunner.
CSSG
and Omega Doom.
This prompts an icy glare from Dr. Satan
Dr. Satan
You will be silent for now. Everyone is having some bad films now and then.
CSSG
He sure do seem to have a lot of them.
Dr. Satan
SILENCE.
CSSG
Deadlocked? Turbulence II? The aforementioned Omega Doom.
RUTGER HAUER (sitting down)
I needed the money on that one.
Dr. Satan (Super Deformed ultimately happy)
Mr. Hauer, I am being so happy to have you to my show!
Dr. Satan pumps his arm.
Rutger Hauer
Yeah, right. Listen is this going to take long, I’m filming today, and my agent said I’d only have to be here a few minutes.
Dr. Satan
I am only having a few questions for you. ( he reaches down and pulls out a gigantic stack of cards) First What is being your address.
RH
I’m not telling you that on the air.
Dr. Satan
Just write it there on the card.
RH
no.
CSSG
Man watch out for this cat he’s in serious love with you or something.
RH
what?
CSSG
got pictures of you at home, and like all your films and stuff. Always talking about stuff like What are you thinking Rutger Hauer would do in this situation. It’s all jacked up man.
Dr. Satan
Can not a man have great admiration and platonic love for another man, and express it through song and deed.
RH and CSSG exchange a look for a beat, and CSSG mouths the word “run” .
RH
I’m out of here.
CSSG
Run away man, go fast.
Dr. Satan angry, dark faced loses it. Glares at CSSG.
Dr. Satan
I am hating mankind now, again. Most special in this hate is for you.
Dr Satan stands up and goes to the side of the set where there is a large inverted pentagram drawn on the floor and a baphomet on the wall. Braziers and candles burn.
CSSG
Oh snap, here we go again.
Dr. Satan (Chanting in center of pentagram)
I am calling on the darkness and the great beast to be granting me the power to destroy mankind.
He Chants in Enochian and picks up an athame and cuts his hand, then drinks something dark and red from a chalice. At the end he stops and lowers his head. He then begins to grow.
After that it goes to a Godzilla style scene with Dr Satan destroying part of the city before being defeated by his arch-nemesis. It ends with a circle back to his apartment and a conversation with Bear.
And with that I bid you goodnight.
The Rutger Hauer Hour, being a story of the insidious Dr. Satan and his platonic love for Rutger Hauer.
Open on various shots of DR SATAN waking and going about his morning business in his small apartment, showering, shaving the sides of his goatee and sideburns, brushing his teeth, and making his beard and hair into the little points. He opens the door from the bathroom and behind it is BEAR.
Dr. Satan
GAAAHHHH!!!!
Bear
GAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Dr. Satan
Oh, it is only the insolent bear with which I live.
Bear
Are you finished in there? I think I need to make some root beer.
Dr. Satan
You are greatly disgusting me.
Bear
Whatever.
Now we go to DR SATAN in his work clothes preparing for the day, eating breakfast, reading the newspaper, looking at porn on the internet, whatever. BEAR comes in, carrying a cup of coffee, and wearing some form of work shirt.
Bear
What’s the show about this week?
Dr. Satan
I hate insolent bears. The show is called Rutger Hauer Hour of Power.
Bear
Rutger Hauer Hour would be better, it’s shorter and snappier.
Dr. Satan
Am I in the habit of answering to you?
Bear
Whatever chief. It’s your show.
Bear
Your show is only 30 minutes though, isn’t it?
Dr. Satan
Yes, what of it?
Bear
So how can it be an Hour of Rutger Hauer when you only have 30 minutes?
Dr. Satan (indignant and angry)
Perhaps, insolent Bear, I am making two shows at once, both involving the wonderful Mr. Hauer.
Bear (humoring him)
There’s definitely enough there for two shows isn’t there?
Dr. Satan
He is the star of the films Bladerunner, LadyHawke, and of course Blind Fury.
Bear
And Omega Doom.
Dr. Satan
SPEAK NOT THAT NAME.
Bear
Whatever.
Later Establishing shot of the building where the show is taped. Local cable access station. A small squat building. DR SATAN is going over his pre-show notes on the set. CHOP SUEY SOCCER GUY comes in.
Dr Satan
Has the excellent Mr. Hauer arrived yet.
CSSG
Naw man.
Dr. Satan
It is being time for the show very soon. I am hoping he will arrive in the meantime.
CSSG
Man you crazy. Why you want him on the show so bad? Why not have on Danny Glover or Carrot Top or somebody cool like that.
Dr. Satan
None is cooler than Rutger Hauer, nor more deserving of the affection of all.
CSSG
You crazy man.
Show opening, various shots of DR SATAN and CSSG as well as other characters. Explosions, dancing girls, the last shot is of Dr. Satan in a dress looking like a little girl, he looking pissed . The title glyph, in Kanji says “Super Gaijin Dance Party,” the next card says Rutger Hauer Hour.
We come up on the desk, where DR SATAN sits with CSSG to his right in on the couch
Dr. Satan
Welcome all to my show with good tidings. On show today we are having some very special guest. The favorite actor of all my Dark Glory, the valiant Mr. Rutger Hauer. He is being the star of the wonderful films, Bind Fury and Bladerunner.
CSSG
and Omega Doom.
This prompts an icy glare from Dr. Satan
Dr. Satan
You will be silent for now. Everyone is having some bad films now and then.
CSSG
He sure do seem to have a lot of them.
Dr. Satan
SILENCE.
CSSG
Deadlocked? Turbulence II? The aforementioned Omega Doom.
RUTGER HAUER (sitting down)
I needed the money on that one.
Dr. Satan (Super Deformed ultimately happy)
Mr. Hauer, I am being so happy to have you to my show!
Dr. Satan pumps his arm.
Rutger Hauer
Yeah, right. Listen is this going to take long, I’m filming today, and my agent said I’d only have to be here a few minutes.
Dr. Satan
I am only having a few questions for you. ( he reaches down and pulls out a gigantic stack of cards) First What is being your address.
RH
I’m not telling you that on the air.
Dr. Satan
Just write it there on the card.
RH
no.
CSSG
Man watch out for this cat he’s in serious love with you or something.
RH
what?
CSSG
got pictures of you at home, and like all your films and stuff. Always talking about stuff like What are you thinking Rutger Hauer would do in this situation. It’s all jacked up man.
Dr. Satan
Can not a man have great admiration and platonic love for another man, and express it through song and deed.
RH and CSSG exchange a look for a beat, and CSSG mouths the word “run” .
RH
I’m out of here.
CSSG
Run away man, go fast.
Dr. Satan angry, dark faced loses it. Glares at CSSG.
Dr. Satan
I am hating mankind now, again. Most special in this hate is for you.
Dr Satan stands up and goes to the side of the set where there is a large inverted pentagram drawn on the floor and a baphomet on the wall. Braziers and candles burn.
CSSG
Oh snap, here we go again.
Dr. Satan (Chanting in center of pentagram)
I am calling on the darkness and the great beast to be granting me the power to destroy mankind.
He Chants in Enochian and picks up an athame and cuts his hand, then drinks something dark and red from a chalice. At the end he stops and lowers his head. He then begins to grow.
After that it goes to a Godzilla style scene with Dr Satan destroying part of the city before being defeated by his arch-nemesis. It ends with a circle back to his apartment and a conversation with Bear.
And with that I bid you goodnight.
Magick
I haven't really posted anything substantial in awhile (unless you consider my electronic Yahtzee scores to be substantial, which I do, but others don't seem to), so as I continue to hone my diatribe against the embodiment of what is wrong in comic books today, Chuck Austen, for eventual publication, I submit to the current form of the introduction of what I plan as a longer work.
I have no idea when I'll pick this thing up again, there are a few chapters after this one written, but I don't think that I have all the pieces that I need to take it further than it has gone. I think that the books of Daniel Quinn that I've been reading lately and the work of John Taylor Gatto have something to add, and they may push the thing off in new directions, but that's ok.
Anyway, on with the intro to my non-fiction work in progress tentatively entitled Find Your Own Kabbalah
I have no idea when I'll pick this thing up again, there are a few chapters after this one written, but I don't think that I have all the pieces that I need to take it further than it has gone. I think that the books of Daniel Quinn that I've been reading lately and the work of John Taylor Gatto have something to add, and they may push the thing off in new directions, but that's ok.
Anyway, on with the intro to my non-fiction work in progress tentatively entitled Find Your Own Kabbalah
What is Magic?
There are many definitions of Magic (or Magick to those who prefer it that way). To some it means the sleight of hand of stage magicians. To others, something dark and sinister. To others it is an expression of religion.
Aleister Crowley called magic "the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will."
In other words, how do you open a door with Magick? You get up, grasp the knob, turn and pull (or push). Anything that is done that causes change and is willed is Magick to Crowley. That's a pretty broad definition.
In his book Modern Magic, Donald Michael Kraig goes a step further to try to narrow it down a bit (no doubt he is a very orderly person in life, where Crowley had a bit more chaotic reality tunnel) and says:
"Magick is the science and art of causing change (in consciousness) to occur in conformity with will, using means not currently understood by traditional Western science."
So there's some science and art to it in Kraig's world. Opening a door like that isn't necessarily Magick, but if you cast the Yarrow Sticks to determine whether it would be profitable for you to open the damn door already, then since there was a change in your consciousness that tells you to open the door (brought on by the art of the traditional I Ching) then it would be Magick, but the Magick would be more the process, rather than the act.
But magic is all bullshit, isn't it? I mean, come on, how can any of it be real. All these guys are just having us on aren't they? It's just a game of intellectual elitism where some of the people have "secrets" that they can use to change reality. Nobody could really do any of those things can they? If the US government can indict Madame Cleo for fraud, then all this magic stuff has to be a hoax, right?
Right?
Well, if you believe that, then just stop now, because everything I say from here on out is just going to seem like so much horseshit to you, but if you're a bit more open to the paranormal, or the supernormal, then, please read a bit more.
For the purposes I wish to discuss, I propose that magic is anything that performs a type of sleight of mind. The commercial that influences you to buy. The homeless person that disappears from sight. The subtle manipulation used on us all in our daily lives.
This is all magic.
You may think that I am reverting back into some primitive state where I fear everything and think that little people live inside the television. I'm pretty sure that's not the case.
Everything is subjective metaphor.
What I experience is not exactly what you experience. Even if we are in the same surroundings, say at a sporting event, seated beside one another, reality is different for the two of us. We are all moving through our own reality tunnels, and only the intersection of these cause what we like to refer to as "reality."
What I experience may be the loudness of the crowd, or the smells and sights, while something else may hold your rapt attention, something that doesn't even affect me.
In later sections I will explore the ways in which governments, religions and other people seek to distort your reality tunnel to one more in keeping with what they want you to experience. I will also attempt to give you some suggestions and further reading to help liberate yourself from their influence.
But, truly do not take my word for it, for I am merely speaking to you from my reality tunnel here as I write these words. Perhaps it is not the same for you
Sunday, January 04, 2004
Friday, January 02, 2004
Price is Right
Firstly let me say that it just sounds wrong hearing the prizes on PIR announced by someone other than Rod Roddy. But enough of that take a look at Daniel as he plays PIR and does some spastic moves while doing so. Cory at BoingBoing (where I found this) pegged it pretty much right as a Saturday Night Live-like character.
3.4 mb .rm file.
3.4 mb .rm file.
Lionel Tate
Tate's Lawyer Says Mother OKs Plea Deal
For those of you who don't know the background on this case, Lionel Tate was a twelve-year-old who beat a six-year-old to death and then his lawyers attempted to use the "He was just imitating professional wrestling" defense. They tried to get various wrestlers such as the Rock and Hulk Hogan under subpoena to testify, but I don't remember if they were successful or not. That's not really the point. He was convicted of murder and sentenced to life without parole.
I do think that the sentence was too severe for a then pre-pubescent, and he should not have been tried as an adult, because he was not an adult. This case should have never become the small press scandal that it was. The truth is he was twelve, old enough to know that rough-housing has limits, especially when it comes to smaller children. Also, where has the "You don't hit a girl," bit of child-logic gone?
The bottom line in my mind is that there was an egregious lack of supervising going on here. I don't know the background of the family, but if little Lionel was known to be violent, or even if he wasn't he shouldn't be left alone with a six-year-old. Perhaps there was a good reason, perhaps not, but the end result is that the little girl is dead, and Lionel's lawyers attempted to sway public opinion to get him off. They tried to make the WWF the bad guys in the case and they lost. Parents have got to be responsible enough to at least teach their kids not to beat littler children to death. I think we can all agree on that one.
Maybe this will finally let this case rest and I can hear no more of Lionel Tate.
For those of you who don't know the background on this case, Lionel Tate was a twelve-year-old who beat a six-year-old to death and then his lawyers attempted to use the "He was just imitating professional wrestling" defense. They tried to get various wrestlers such as the Rock and Hulk Hogan under subpoena to testify, but I don't remember if they were successful or not. That's not really the point. He was convicted of murder and sentenced to life without parole.
I do think that the sentence was too severe for a then pre-pubescent, and he should not have been tried as an adult, because he was not an adult. This case should have never become the small press scandal that it was. The truth is he was twelve, old enough to know that rough-housing has limits, especially when it comes to smaller children. Also, where has the "You don't hit a girl," bit of child-logic gone?
The bottom line in my mind is that there was an egregious lack of supervising going on here. I don't know the background of the family, but if little Lionel was known to be violent, or even if he wasn't he shouldn't be left alone with a six-year-old. Perhaps there was a good reason, perhaps not, but the end result is that the little girl is dead, and Lionel's lawyers attempted to sway public opinion to get him off. They tried to make the WWF the bad guys in the case and they lost. Parents have got to be responsible enough to at least teach their kids not to beat littler children to death. I think we can all agree on that one.
Maybe this will finally let this case rest and I can hear no more of Lionel Tate.
Thursday, January 01, 2004
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