Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Oh YEAHHH!!!!!

There's been something bothering me for literally days now.

Sunday I was eying a package of single serve kool-aid and the smiling Kool-Aid man pictured thereupon, and I started to wonder (Aloud): "Is Kool-Aid man sentient liquid in a type of pitcher containment suit, or is he a sentient pitcher with Kool-Aid inside?"

Also, is his "face" something formed by the liquid or the pitcher body?

Is he, in fact, some type of kool-aid fueled cyborg?

The Kool-Aid being some type of blood would seem to be the case since he does change colors on the different packaging, but does that mean it is a different Kool-Aid man, or perhaps he just has different powers?

If he is, indeed, as previously postulated, a sentient liquid mass, does that mean that if you drink him he would retain his identity inside you, or, much like the aptly named Spider-Man villain, Hydro-Man, does he have the ability to make any Kool-Aid a part of him, but when it ceases contact it goes back to being just ordinary Kool-Aid that has been touched by the extraordinary?

This doesn't help explain at all.

Neither do the descriptions of his comic book exploits.

My vote tends toward sentient liquid. I refuse to believe that a being with such an obvious hindrance as a completely open top of his head would refuse to at least wear a hat.

This also begs the question of sugar or sugar-free Kool-Aid. Which is he? I'm betting standard Kool-Aid man is Fruit-Punch with TWICE the recommended dosage of sugar.

Is there a giant wooden spoon man? Does that enter into some awkward territory?

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