Raiding the $5.88 Bin

Ah, the Wal-Mart $5.88 DVD bin, where you can find copies of such luminous films as Freddy Got Fingered, Samurai Jack, The Tenant, Rambo II and III, Reign of Darkness, The Breed and The Howling III: The Marsupials.

I have mentioned the horribleness of The Breed, a bad vampire movie starring Adrian Paul, before, and I thought that that was the lowest point, the ultimate low that they could scrape for a 'horror' film to be in the bin, but I was wrong.

Reign of Darness is quite possibly one of the worst films I have ever watched the first 15 minutes of. It is so bad that after five minutes I was ready to eject it from my DVD player and throw it in the trash.

It's an Australian vampire/virus outbreak film set in what I assume is the U.S. It stars Kel Dolan as Michael Dorn (not Worf), who is a molecular biologist on some form of program to create some form of virus or other, that the film assures us is believed to be real and exist in our world.

It was filmed on digital for the price of $1 million dollars last year, of which none went to script writing. It seems that Dolan, who also wrote and directed the film with parner David W. Allen, just made the shit up as he went along. In the bit I struggled through there is a lab, there are some chases and gunshots, and apparantly to test the drug the bad guy, who has what I assume is supposed to be a Southern Accent, but just sounds like an Australian with a cold, injects tagged homless people and watches the results. He does so on the mysterious orders of shadowy figures who are most likely vampires.

Yeah. Right. Spend some money on script next time guys. Batman: Dead End was a demo reel for the writer director and cost about $60,000. It had no real story and was only 8 minutes, but it is so much better than this crap that it is scary.

The other film I bought was The Howling III: The Marsupials. WereKangaroos, in Australia. Obviously it's a comedy. It's exactly what you think it is.

If you're in the cheap bin at Wally-World go for the Samurai Jack, it's much better and more worth your time.