I know everyone out there is wondering how I've been getting by during all these thunderstorms and tornados that were sent by "the man" to destroy me. Well let me tell you, I am fine.

It was a bit touch and go for awhile though. We were at work night before last when the storms hit and the customers and employees (except for the expendable cashiers, of course) were herded into the clothing area like good little schoolchildren, with the rationale that the clothing on the racks would hurt less than cans or whatnot if the storm blew off the roof and whirled everything about.

We were there amongst the women's undergarments when one of the skylights blew out and the power flickered. A beam from the ceiling struck me in the head and everything went wavy gravy. When I opened my eyes I was spinning uncontrollably through a twister, a twister. Joey was there and he ran by shouting "You better move! Don't let me catch you!" Then he turned all greeen and warty (or greener and wartier, as it were) and started cackling in that way he does.

A short time later I landed comfortably on top of an old woman dressed all in black with these curious little curled up feet, on which were some sequined red pumps. I carefully got up and dusted myself off and took stock of my surroundings.

Tiny little houses stretched off as far as I could see. Why, I was in a tiny little village. Then there was singing and dancing, with the little inhabitants (quite nice, but smelly, oh so smelly. I wish they would have had some tiny little deodorant there). They sent me on a quest to find somebody or other.

Well I walked for awhile and Joey showed up and threw some fire at me like he often does, and along the way I encountered three other people, a macho Pimp with no game, and two others who are not really worth mentioning.

We traveled to the end of the road and came to a glorious city where all of our questions were answered. El Macho discovered that he had had game all along, he just didn't realize it, and they took the other two off of our hands.

Then I was fired from a cannon on the top of the highest tower in the city and landed safely back in my apartment.

And that is how I defeated the Tornado.

The End.