ATTENTION

Maybe I'm out of the loop, but did anyone else realize that Steven Seagal is a recording artist as well as ass-kicking re-incarnation of an ancient buddhist holy man?



I am suitably in awe of this.

Does JCVD do this? No.

Jet Li? No.

Sharukh Khan? Well, yes, actually. But this isn't Bollywood, this is B-Grade-Action-Movie-Star Time!

First he drops an energy drink on the unsuspecting world...now this?

I must have BOTH of his albums.

We must buy copies of his albums en masse. He cannot be #260,672 in music sales on Amazon. He should be at least around #174,000.

I will pray for more albums, and so will you. Do not let Steven become another Don Johnson, or--Shudder--Bruce Willis.

The song My God from Songs From the Crystal Cave is pure unadulterated brilliance.

W. Axl Rose

In 2002 W. Axl Rose ended my hopes that there would ever be another Guns and Roses album by debuting a new lineup and saying his new album, then only a decade or so in the making would be out soon. Then they went on tour. Then they came off tour and broke-up.

Then the album didn't come out.

There were two things that I didn't think I would see in my lifetime, a Black President of the US, and GNR's Chinese Democracy.

Two in one year.

In my mind the election of Barack Obama has brought Chinese Democracy to all of us, and W. Axl Rose has managed to do something that only Brian Wilson has done before...bring the world what is probably a heavily over-produced and incredibly hyped album years and years in the making.

Axl's pitch for Obama to appoint him Secretary of Crazyland (a post held under the Bush Administration by Prince) is a pretty slick and listenable mishmash of every possible thing that you know from GNR, without all the other 'members' to hold Axl back.

In that way it is less like a GNR album and more like an Axl Rose album. This works pretty well, much like, say, a Mick Jagger album sounds a lot like a Stones album.

There are songs here like Old GNR, a couple of Rob Zombie style tracks, and at least one that would sound at home in a Broadway show. Also there is the one track that sounds like Axl doing Bohemian Rhapsody.

I think there was probably quite a bit of pitch correction and vocal tuning done on many of the tracks, but that probably just comes from the fact that there were probably about 1,000,000 hours of sound recorded for these 14 songs.

This ain't no Britney comeback where she just went in and said about 20 words into the mike and Scott Storch's minions (Pooh Bear) make twenty tracks from that.

There is one track that had me thinking that Axl should have hired Timbaland to drop in some phat beats One Republic style, though. That would have guaranteed some radio play.

All in all, much better than I expected, but not really a GNR album. I don't think it's going to unseat AFD on the influence and popularity lists, but it's also not going to just plunk and disappear like Billy Corrigan's solo album (but I don't think Billy spent 15 years working on those songs).

Chuck Klosterman's review

Micky Rourke as a Sympathetic Shawn Michaels

This looks ridiculously good to me.

Even though, as Roxanne said to me, the plot sounds a bit like Rocky Balboa.

End of the Shield

There aren't many shows on T.V. that I really look forward to from week to week and year to year, but one of the few that has continually kept that position is FX's cop-drama The Shield, starring the commish.

It's ending next week, wrapping up seven seasons of completely unpredictable corrupt cop action.

I've tried to predict what will happen, and I like to say that anything that I predict will not happen, so it never does.

I've been doing a lot of predicting on this last episode.

For those of you who don't watch this will make very little sense, but here we go with my prediction.

After basically boning ICE into giving him immunity for delivering Beltran and his Cartel, and rolling on Ronnie, Vic has raised the ire of Olivia and her ICE supervisors as well as Claudette.

This causes Claudette and Olivia, as well as possibly Aceveda to enter into a deal where they use the out clauses in Vic's deal to turn or use Ronnie to break up the drug deal, but in the end arrest Vic for his crimes. Either Ronnie gets immunity or is allowed to run to Mexico. Vic was responsible for the deaths of one guy working for the feds, and also for the death of an informant from Mexico (Guardo).

Vic goes down, but so does Aceveda who is implicated in many of Vic, Beltran and Pezuala's crimes.

As for who dies in this episode (I read a rumor that 4 main characters bite it in this episode): Mara o.d.'s and Shane dies by suicide by cop. Also Dutch is killed by either the serial killer kid or the kid's mom.

I really am looking forward to this episode, but I dread it as well. It reminds me of a few years ago when I knew that Transmetropolitan was coming to an end.

C-Span Archive Dive

Trolling the C-Span archives I came across this gem that I had been looking for for quite a long time.

The Ultimate Warrior speaks to the Young Republican National Convention in July of 2003

Warrior starts around an hour and twenty minutes in.

I happened to catch this on C-Span when it originally aired in 2003, but haven't been able to find any clips of it or mention since then. Then I was looking through the C-Span archives (as I know that many do) and happened to find it.

And secondly:

The Roast of Rahm Emmanuel.

Not a Lisa Lampinelli in sight.


Also

The Al Smith Dinner with Obama and McCain

The Al Smith Dinner with W and Al Gore

Dukakis and Bush at the Al Smith Dinner

Pi No Longer Irrational

"In the Tennessee legislature a bill was introduced to make pi equal to three; it was reported out by the committee on public education and morals, passed without objection by the lower house and died in the upper house."

Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Stranger Land

I'm reading SIASL right now, and I hit this line yesterday and it made me laugh, then I saw this headline on the cover of the DPA: Bell: GOP's State Wins To Speed Up Legislation. And I saw this part of the story:

This is the first time Republicans have held majorities in both the state House and Senate since 1869, the Tennessee Republican Party reports. Bell said one bill the new Republican regimen will see through a Constitutional amendment that would eventually return control of abortion regulation to lawmakers. He said abortion regulation has been governed by Supreme Court decisions.

Bell said several gun bills should be met favorably this term, too. He mentioned legislation that would allow people with gun carry permits to take their weapons in state wildlife areas. (boldface mine)

Is there hunting allowed in state wildlife areas? Just wondering. I would imagine that is probably the reason weapons are not allowed there.

Also, Supreme Court decisions tend to trump laws, even ones in constitutions in individual states.

Then, we did have a law banning the teaching of the theory of evolution in schools that wasn't even overturned in the Scopes trial, but sat on the books until very recently.

Anyway on to what I wanted to write when I laughed at the line in SISL.

NASHVILLE--Lawmakers today applauded a state bill to make pi equal to three.

"This is a bold move and shows the decisiveness with which government can act," said State Senator Bud Bradley. "This will allow our children and scientists to save time and simplify many of our housing and economic problems."

Debate on the bill was postponed in favor of a unanimous consent vote in the House, and met only minor resistance in the Senate.

"You cannot legislate mathematics," said State Senator Kim Marshall. A retired public school teacher, Marshall who objected to the bill went on to vote for it.

"Why not? I think we just did." Bradley during a short debate period in the Senate floor. "What this does is put our state on the map in the world of mathematics. You're either with us, or you're with the terrorists."

Pi is a mathematical constant representing the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean geometry. It is approximately equal to 3.1415927, but if passed, the Tennessee amendment would round that number to 3 and would do away with the symbol entirely.

"I hear that pi is an irrational number," Bradley said. "I don't think we have room for irrationality in mathematics."

The bill is expected to be signed by the Governor on Tuesday.

Get Your War On

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

A Prediction

Palin/Bachmann 2012

Whoever the Republicans run (probably a woman) in 2012 at the Democratic convention Joe Biden will gracefully bow out of the race and resign, but will introduce someone they think is a suitable replacemnt...HRC.

Long Voting Lines

Just a short note:

Seeing the long voting lines at early voting locations across the country on the news, I couldn't help but be reminded of 1990 and the opening night of a little film called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Our Carmike Theater here in Athens is now closed but on that night the line stretched around the building what I remember was about five times. I--in my TMNT screen printed shirt from Jekyll Island, Ga., and my mysterious friend Bill, in his season inappropriate jacket and four giant buttons, one of each turtle--stood in that line for quite some time to get into the movie (it was awesome by the way, well worth the wait). The line around the building looked a lot like the ones in this story, only there were many, many more children and, if possible, even more irritated looking adults.

The point is, I think that voting is just as awesome as TMNT the movie, but standing in line is not that awesome. But sometimes standing in a big ass line is necessary to get to something awesome.

Pre-Election Letter

BST has a tradition of addressing his internet prayers as letters to Superman, and tonight I would like to respectfully borrow from this tradition.

Dear Superman,

I know that we don't talk that much anymore, but there are a few really important things that I'd like to ask for this election season. I've held off on this until the last minute, much like the entirety of my life's Christmas shopping, but I think that it's better late than never.

We've got a big election here in the U.S.A. tomorrow (lot's of little ones too), I'd just like to ask that you make sure that everyone is able to get out and vote if they want to. I don't really care if they vote with me or agin me, it just does my world good that they do.

Please make sure that there is enough certainty in the election results that there can be no real question from either side that the 'lection is Super-Validated. Please keep an eye on the polls.

Please make sure that whoever wins that they don't just do what they think is right for the country, but that they make the right decisions that should be made and everything works out in the end.

Superman, I know that the most that you can do (unless you are written by John Byrne) to influence people is use your Super-Powers, Super-Smugness, and Super-Intimidation, but If you could make sure that if the guy that I'm voting for wins that he does what is best and remembers that the crazies in his party aren't always right and that at the very least I am voting for him in the hopes that he has good judgment when he is in office and is able to work for the betterment of us all.

Bizarro, if the opposite happens and the other guy wins, please don't make sure that he does not also do a bad job of things and looks out only for himself.

All I'd really like, Superman, is that whoever wins tomorrow that our country is able to put a lot of this ugly-assed 85-year election behind us and that our incoming President is able to unify everyone (except the crazies), and is able to move us into a more positive future.

Thanks, I'll let you get back to reporting, fighting Metallo, or Super-Crocheting now.

Your Pal (no, not Jimmy Olsen or Bibbo),

Bill

Mike Gravel Should Have Won

Mike Gravel wants to engage you in a staring contest. He could outstare any average or non average man or woman.

He just sucks at skipping rocks. It's all about selection. Then it's in the wrist after that. Perhaps he was actually the Discordian candidate in this campaign and was just involved in a game of Sink.

Wouldn't have known about this add without tonight's Rachel Maddow show. But then most people probably don't remember Mike Gravel when he was involved in this election about twenty five years ago.