3D Curling Simulator

Ah, Big Lots. Not what you would think of as a software store, and this purchase doesn't change my mind on that front.

Curling 2: Take-Out Weight is the sequel to the world's first 3D Curling Simulator.

Sit back a moment and think about that one. This is a curling simulator. They've made two of them. Two curling games, yet I still can't get a good skee-ball game?

I have to be honest that I don't really know how to curl. I have a vague idea of it as a type of shuffleboard on ice, and I've watched it in the Olympics, but I still don't understand it.

After playing this game for a bit I still don't understand it.

I suppose this is a realistic representation of the sport, and it has kickass songs about curling, songs so good you almost think they're joking, but this is from Canada, so I imagine that this is no joke.

The packaging comes in both French and English, so that I now know that you say "Steadddy! Sweeeeeep! Hurry! Hurry! Hard! Haaard!' in French as "Doucement! Balaaayeez! Plus, Plus Vite, Vvviteee!" And you say "Whoah! Whoah! Whoooah!" as Whoah! Whoah! Whoooah!"

You can also play against curling legend Randy Ferbey and add him to your team.

Excited yet?

I know I am.

Here's what the package says:

JUST IMAGINE TAKING ON ONE OF THE BEST CURLERS IN THE WORLD!
Imagine the roar of the rock as it twists down the ice, stopping right on the button-The perfect delivery. Imagine yourself competing against legends like Randy Ferbey as you take your rookie team from the local rink, all the way to the World Championships.

Now, imagine a curling simulation that's so realistic, even the ice conditions change. Design your own team, and compete in matches and bonspiels against a variety of opponents.

Play for fun, play for bragging rights, or play for cold, hard cash. Imagine curling as it should be-simple to learn, yet difficult to master.

Do you think the curling world championships are held in Canada? I bet they are.

This isn't going to take the place of the Gilligan's Island Bowling Game, but it's pretty good. It has helped me discover that I do not want to be a professional curler as I previously thought.