Today's Funny

From Don't Panic by Neil Gaiman

MARVIN
I suppose some people might have expected better treatment after having waited for five hundred years in a car park. But not me. I may just be a menial robot but I'm far too intelligent to expect anyone to think of me for a moment. Far too intelligent. In fact, I'm so intelligent I've probably got time to go through the five million things I hate most about organic life forms. One. They're so stupid...

Cut from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy TV series script.

More TV viewing

I found myself completely enthralled by a televised Dart championship on FoxSports the other night. It was out of Britain (of course), and the zeal that the announcers and color (or perhaps colour) commentator were putting into the play just drew me in.

I have no idea how the thing was scored, or even how the matches were set up (which would explain why I never win at darts), but with that British man yelling excitedly at every throw I could not turn away.

The crowd was really into the action as well, with people openly weeping.

No wonder pro-wrestling is so big in England.

I've never been that mad at anyone

How many of you out there remember Julie Stoffer? Comic Scribe Brian Bendis called her the Horny-Mormon-girl from MTV's Real World New Orleans. She's also a correspondent for the G4TechTV show Electric Playground, but none of those are the reason I bring her to your attention.

She's also a contestant on this year's Real World/Road Rules challenge show "The Inferno." So is Coral from Real World 10 (The one with the Miz).

Some back history on the two and their rivalry. According to Coral, Julie has, on various occasions, contacted groups who were interested in bringing in a Real-Worlder as a guest speaker and stolen jobs from her. Therefore she "hates the bitch."

They had quite the great amount of back and forth on the Inferno show, culminating with Julie's departure from the show on an episode where neither team wanted the member of their team competing to stay on the show.

Then there was the re-cap special where they showed outtakes from the show.

One of these was a segment where Julie struck against Coral by peeing on her bed.

She was so mad at Coral that she went into Coral's room and peed on her bed.

There was some debate amongst Coral and others as to the process of the urination, did she lay down on the bed, sit, or did she just raise a leg and let're fly.

I laughed so hard I almost peed on the couch.

I have to imagine that that's something that's not going on the inspirational speaker resume:

Julie A. Stoffer
Musician, Author, Public Speaker, Activist, Spokesperson, Actress, Will Pee on Your Bed if Angered.

Just a little toasty

On a whim I decided to check the thermometer yesterday, and boy howdee was it hot:

Almost 110, that's pretty hot. I think my thermometer may be broken.

Why am I watching E!?

I just learned that there is a strong possibility that the man Alanis Morissette has written all those angry songs like 'You Oughta Know' is TV's Dave Coulier.

For some reason I have a really hard time picturing Uncle Joey and Alanis hooking up.

Via BoingBoing:

Simpson's adds for a Japanese Soda called CC Lemon:

1,2,3,4,5

Interesting, if, for no other reason than you get to hear all of them speaking in Japanese.

TNA-Impact

NWA-TNA's 'Impact' debuted on Fox-Sports last Friday. It's the first non-WWF national wrestling show since Vinnie Mac bought the major competition and ECW folded.

They've been hyping how this will be a new evolution of wrestling product, something different than the WWE, complete with futuristic laser lights and a six-sided ring.

What it actually reminded me more of was WCW Worldwide.

The new ring is interesting, but no-one on the debut show really did anything special with it. I also don't really see how doing the PPV's every week from Nashville in the regular ring, while doing something physically very different on Friday is going to work.

On the debut show we had a six-man tag match between Team Canada and Team International. It was about a six minute spot fest. Average X-match.

Abyss squashed Shark Boy, AMW (Kitten and Jim) defeated Kid Kash and Dallas for the tag titles, and AJ styles won a number one contender's match for the X-title.

All fine and good and quite a bit better than the regular editions of Explosion, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that I was watching a WCW product, and after the final years of that company, that isn't a good thing.

I just didn't see much innovation, other than cosmetic differences.

Maybe in the coming weeks we'll see something different, but I really don't see this show inspiring that many people to buy the PPV's.

Latest Viewing

The Day After Tomorrow

Much with the Destructo here.

For the 'science' behind the film consult The Coming Global Superstorm, by Art Bell and Whitley Strieber.

Yeah, so the science in this film might not be so hot, but there is some basis for a massive global climate shift having happened in the past in much this manner (you know, the ice-age and all), and the movie follows the events that were set up in the book, complete with the bit about the temperature buoys in the North Atlantic showing a massive drop in temperature, but that's all pushed onto the back burner with the slightly unrealistic manner that Dennis Quaid's character acts in the film and the almost Dickensian reliance on coincidence to add drama (why exactly at the beginning does Quaid feel the need to risk his life for core samples that they could get again, and for that matter what are the odds that in the entirety of Antarctica they would choose the exact location that a fissure would open to set up their drill?).

Did that last paragraph make any sense at all?

The star of this film, as in all disaster films is the destructo, of which there is much.

Much destructo.