Wrassler

Here's the beginning of a new story.

For every Hulk Hogan there are a hundred Tony Atlases, and for every Tony Atlas there are a thousand Gypsy Joes.

I'm not even a Gypsy Joe.

You don't remember me. It's o.k., nobody really does, except my Ex-Wives and the IRS.

I've been around the world and back again, from the gutter to the Penthouse and back to the gutter more times than I can count.

I've had more names than I can count too. In Indianapolis in '72 I was the Mad Mook; In Philly in '76 I was Jimmy the Retard; In Atlanta in '77 I was Kruschev the Killer, and then ten years later under a hood I was Mr. Midnight #2.

But I started out and I'm gonna end as Leonard Bergeron Chapek.

I didn't expect it to ring a bell.

I've been a grave-digger, a short order cook, a tobacco farmer, a janitor (twice) and a bunch of other shit not worth mentioning. But the only thing I was ever good at was wrestling. Some people might argue with that, but the promoter's knew what they were doing when the brought me in.

If they needed a Heel to make their Babyface, I was the man to do it.

There've been plenty of guys that they say could get a great match out of a mop if they tried, but I didn't even need the mop. In Birmingham in '74 as Uncle Rascal, I convinced the marks that there was an invisible grappler called Tim Spook and managed to work for three months without even having an opponent.

I know the business better than most. I know how to squeeze pennies until they turn silver. I know the look in a promoter's eye that they get when they're going to short you. I know how to milk any hint of fame and I know how to dig through the garbage.

Put me in the ring with your Babyface and I will make him. Put me in the ring with your top Heel. Put me in the ring with your son.

Hell, put me in the ring with your dog and I will make it a star.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. R.I.P.

Bill Bacon is...

...the legislative director for the Pennsylvania Social Services Union, SEIU Local 668.

...president of the store.

...finding traction on the insides of the corners, where the grasses and leaves offer something to hook-up on.

...the better guy to ask on this.

...chiding the professional prac-. titioners for their neglect of research, debate and informed exchange

...the Music Minister for First Baptist Church in Clinton and has been there since 1976.

...putting the final touches on a film about the Friendship.

...looking for Spud:

...obviously not willing to discuss the other issues since he cannot make the STCC or Move That Bridge look bad by doing so.

...a pipefitter working with a Saint John contractor.

...with us only in spirit.

...the coordinator of the HUGS family.

The Riches

I caught the pilot episode of the Riches starring Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver and was left feeling a bit underwhelemed.

I like Izzard immensly, and Driver quite a bit, but the show as a whole doesn't really work in the first episode. I don't require every show be Nip/Tuck or the Shield in pacing, but it really doesn't help your show in your first episode when you rely on a chance encounter with a cop to supply most of your expository dialogue on a setting that might not be familiar with many viewers.

Irish Travellers might not be familiar to all viewers, and relying on two minutes of dialogue to set the stage doesn't really help. If somebody tuned in late they'd probably just assume the clan at their camp were just having a redneck family reunion.

It's interesting that FX keeps greenlighting shows where foreign actors play Americans, which isn't always bad such as in Nip/Tuck, but here some of the accents area bit dodgy and it's a bit hard to buy some of the characters.

I want to like this show, and I think that it can get better, but I don't know if the ratings will hold up if a show that was sortof billed as a bit of a comedy (Izzard in the promos only) keeps such a somber and slow pace.

About 15 minutes should have been cut from the pilot. As in professional wrestling more time to tell story is not necessarily going to be time well spent telling the story.

Shortest Reunion Ever

So i guess that Eddie Van Halen figured out between issues of Rolling Stone that Diamond Dave is still Diamond Dave. It's just too damn bad that there don't seem to be any Van Halens that can sing.

They should either just bury the hatchett with Sammy (He'd come back in a heartbeat I think), or Wolfgang or Eddie just need to marry some singer (Linda Perry or Axl Rose maybe).

I wonder if this time in rehab Eddie will be confronted with the fact that it is, in fact, him that is the unreasonable one in the band.