Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Senator Palpatine (I-CT) Addresses the Media

Republic HoloNet News

NABOO - Facing concern from Senate Democrats, Sen. Palpatine (I-CT) attempts to allay fears he will derail current Health Care Legislation.

"Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen," Sen. Palpatine told reporters Tuesday.

"There are many on both sides of this grand debate eager to turn this dispute into war. It needn't degenerate into so wasteful an outcome. Together, we have the intelligence and the reason to find an alternative solution."

After his refusal to support a public option, Progressive Democrats expressed concerns that Sen. Palpatine's cuts to the legislation would further weaken the bill.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-EN), attempted to calm their fears.

“I have the greatest confidence in Joe Palpatine's ability as a legislator. And he will work with us when this gets on the floor, and I'm sure he'll have some interesting things to do in the way of an amendment.”

Sen. Palpatine also addressed concerns he had strayed from his position in the 2000 Presidential Election.

"I think changing your mind can be a good thing. In 2000 my running mate, Al Gore and I, supported extending Medicare coverage to those 55 to 65. But things have changed in the subsequent 9 years. In 2000 we had a surplus. Now you can see we're totally screwed.

"Also, we didn't win."

Sen. Palpatine went on to express optimism in his newfound Republican alliances.

"It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling. I love the Democrats. I love the Republicans. But I am mild by nature, and do not wish to see the destruction of democracy. The power you give me I will lay down when this crisis has abated. And as my first act with this new authority, I will create a Grand Army of the Republicans to counter the increasing threats of the Progressives.

"All the players are now in place. It is time to initiate the end moves. The plan of many long years shall bear fruit at last!"

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