Sunday, January 11, 2004

My Top Ten Films of 2003

Granted, I didn't see every film that came out this year, and I'm sure that some of the ones that I haven't gotten to yet but want to (i.e. Lost In Translation) are no doubt very worthy, but these are my top picks from the ones that I did see (and remember seeing).


1. Lord of the Rings The Return of the King--Just like every other fanboy out there this one tops the list with the best mixture of everything that makes epic films great. Puts Lucas right in his place.

2. Kill Bill vol. 1--Even without the Bill, this one was pretty damn good. If you don't like the kung-fu 70s style exploitation films, or Quentin Tarantino, this might not be your bag, but if you do...you are not to be disappointed.

3. Once Apon a Time In Mexico--Another gratuitously violent film, but another good one. Short and fast paced, this one could be a bit confusing, but look at all the pretty, pretty violence (and Johnny Depp took his first step towards his new found Jack Nicholson-like God-dom of Cinema).

4. Pirates of the Caribbean--The film that cemented Johnny's Godhood in the movies, and will be responsible for bringing back a resurgence of pirate films. Just a really good movie all around.

5. A Mighty Wind--Screw all the people who didn't think that this was as good a film as Waiting for Guffman or Best in Show. It doesn't have to be. This is still a damn fine comedy, and quite clever and sometimes subtle with its humor. Eugene Levy had a fine performance, no matter what some of the review I've read say. Also, Fred Willard is a comedic genius.

6. X2--Another geektastic experience. That is all on that one.

7. Terminator 3--I know lots of people didn't like this one either, but I thought that the story was rounded out nicely, and I don't care if it was just an excuse to start a new franchise with the films. Also, I likes me some Claire Danes.

8. Bad Santa--Not for everybody, but funny if you like mean-ass humor.

9. Identity--To those who think the ending of this tight little thriller negates the entire film--you are idiots my friends--it's the purpose of the film. Everything in the film builds to that point. It no more negates the film than the finale of St. Elsewhere did.

10. Secondhand Lions--Joey gives me unending guff about this one, but I liked it. Cut the final scene off and this was a classic film.


And now the most vile films of the year:


The Matrix: Revolutions--Quite possibly the most depressing third film of a series outside of Godfather III (which was a much better film). I can't even begin to express my disappointment with this one. It's as if they said "We've got characters and concepts that people like and that work, but let's forget all that, what they really want is Jada Pinkett Smith and alot of Hippies at the center of the earth fighting giant robot squids in mech suits!" Then there is the complete and utter pussification of Morpheus that happens here. He goes from the wise and seemingly all-knowing holy man ass-kicker to Jada Pinkett's co-pilot. I know he put on a little weight, but give the man something to do. They wussed out of the logical progression of the film, that the "real world" was just another Matrix designed to trap those people who were just a little too rebellious, and instead gave us a non-ending where the machines still use people as batteries, only now alot more of the people at the center of the Earth are dead and they have less ships to go to the surface and scavage, but hey, that matrix world has some pretty sunrises in it. Just worthless crap on a stick.

LXG--I have said enough about this abomination.


There you have it Academy voters.

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